(and Kevin Possum)
After years of watching the web industry evolve (and occasionally implode),
we started to notice patterns.
Patterns that stretch from “my grandson can make you a website”
to “I’m sorry, you’ll need to submit your brand essence encoded
in a pulsar before Madison Avenue even looks at you.”
So, in the spirit of Sam Beckett—who kept leaping,
never quite making it home—we built this gallery.
12 tiers. One long boardroom.
And somewhere at the end… Kevin Possum.
The Pitch
Three figures.
One long table.
Twelve folders.
James Lilynx presides like a furry oracle, paws steepled.
I check my watch, the guy across from me checks his notes,
and nothing—absolutely nothing—happens.
Welcome to the most expensive indecision in the world.
“We often struggle to choose what fits us. Not every approach, style, or ‘troupe’ will feel right—and that’s okay. These examples show the range. Some may be extreme, some may not be for you, but each has its place in the broader conversation. The goal is to help you see options clearly and decide what works best for your audience.”
Tier 1 – The Grandson Who Does Computer Stuff
This is the primordial soup of web design:
a boy, a dream, and Microsoft Publisher 98.
Grandma says he’s good with computers. That’s his resume.
The site has three animated GIFs and a visitor counter
stuck at 0012 since 2004.
Payment accepted in pizza rolls.
But hey—maybe this guy needs a chance. Who knows what he may become?
Tier 1.5 – The Early Enthusiast
More confidence now.
A yellow gradient means you’re serious.
There’s a section called “My Thoughts.”
It’s blank.
He has figured out tables.
He has heard of frames.
The future is limitless.
Well, at 56k, almost limitless.
Besides, you never know—today’s frames are tomorrow’s fame.
Tier 2 – The Local Jack-of-All-Trades
Support your local businesses… but with a few caveats.
Do you need a business card, a t-shirt,
a website, and your grandmother’s funeral program
all done by the same person?
Do you enjoy being upsold a car magnet
while buying a banner?
This is where many websites are born—
in a back room, next to the laminator.
Great birthplace. Not always a great forever home.
Tier 3 – The Side Hustler
After 5 p.m., the kitchen becomes a design studio.
The toddler is feral.
The cat is covered in Play‑Doh.
The website will be perfect, but the emails
will come at 11:57 p.m. with subject lines like “sorry for delay.”
And honestly—part of me is still here.
I never had kids, but evenings are for my wife and older family,
so the workday stretches long.
Tier 3.5 – BizGal
She started a consultancy before LinkedIn existed.
Blog posts about empowerment. Lots of serif fonts.
If you ask for SEO, she’ll say she once went to
a Tony Robbins seminar and knows a guy.
Tier 4 – The Startup Bros
Step inside: there’s kombucha on tap,
a dog named Elon, and no plan past next Thursday.
Everyone has a hoodie. Everyone is a CEO.
Half the team is doing crypto.
The other half is trying to invent a new color of blue.
You will receive a deck with the words
“disruptive synergy” on it 48 times.
Tier 5 – The Indie Rebel
The good news: no one cares more about design than this person.
The bad news: they care so much they will argue
for an hour about the angle of a drop shadow.
A single person, a laptop,
and five mood boards that all look like Iceland.
Tier 6 – The Specialist Boutique
This is the only agency on this ladder
that knows exactly what it does.
It will not design your logo.
It will not do your social media.
It will not fix your printer.
It will do one thing with frightening efficiency.
They have a waitlist. It is written in Latin.
And yes, UX is a huge focus of mine too—
but I promise I’m not quite this… intense.
Tier 7 – The Local Big Fish
Every bank website in this county
looks the same because of these people.
They won’t return your calls during hunting season.
If you’re not a bank, they’ll treat you like one anyway.
Their big innovation?
Putting the login button in the top right corner.
Tier 8 – The National Full-Service Agency
A hundred people, twelve departments,
one Slack channel that no one reads.
They do everything for everyone.
They will give you a 65-slide deck explaining
why they need another 65-slide deck.
And then, six months later, you’ll have a banner ad.
Tier 9 – The Cult Branding Shop
They don’t make ads. They make movements.
Your brand will be reimagined
as a feeling, a flavor, a posture.
There will be a documentary crew.
You will cry on camera.
Only two clients a year.
The rest of us just have to be moved.
And honestly, a local agency that’s done this nationally inspired this one.
Sometimes a company really does need a complete reinvention.
Tier 10 – Ultra High-End Madison Avenue
They don’t pitch. They select.
You don’t apply. You are chosen.
Their last client was a watch company that invented time.
They will stare at you for 90 minutes
before saying, “We’ll be in touch.”
Tier 11 – The Global Delivery Shop
Two hundred engineers.
Twenty time zones.
One Scrum Master with a coffee IV.
Meetings are three hours long.
No one hears each other clearly.
Yes, it ships.
And that’s great—someone has to steer the big ships.
I just prefer smaller boats where you can actually hear the crew.
Tier 12 – The Alien Agency
Beyond your comprehension.
Their pitch deck is encoded in pulsars.
Their clients are galaxies.
You’ll never understand what they do,
and you’ll never forget it.
This one? I admit it’s my “go to 11” moment—partly because I love the movie Contact and the idea of signals bigger than ourselves.
Still can’t decide?
Sometimes, picking the right direction feels like that post‑credits scene in Planes, Trains and Automobiles—just sitting there, staring, wondering what to do next.
Watch the moment here ›
James Lilynx never made a decision.
James Lilynx never made a decision.
Sponsored by:
Hughes • Bellisario • Bacon • Possum and Hyperlynx Studio
(and a final thanks to “Ziggy” for rendering these images)
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